sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
