i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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