I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
