You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Barsexuality is the new black.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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