She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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