I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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