My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
