So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize