I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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