i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
