Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
