take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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