I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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