Non-Jews are for practice
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize