U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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