I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize