apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
