Whod you bang
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
