Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Pooping to opera.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
