I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
