so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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