the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
