Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
