Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
