I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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