so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
