elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
