mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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