i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
