I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's the barista slut.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
