But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize