I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
