this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
