I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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