Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
