wat bout pragnant strippers??
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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