YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
