you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
