I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
