i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
