Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
