At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
