No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
