Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
