so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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