I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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