Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
