I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
