Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize