so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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