Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
