white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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