If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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