my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize
