last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
